Fresh Eyes...

"I'm so busy, it's crazy right now."
"Oh man, that sounds so nice, but we have way too much going on for that."
"He/She has change since we got married."
"You have too much time on your hands."
"I have to drop Billy off, then I am off to the grocery store, then to the gym, back to pick up billy and take him to soccer and then to the dentist. Homework, dinner, bed." whew;)

These are just a few words that are like nails on a chalkboard for me right now. I know how easy it is to get overbooked...believe me. Too busy to do the things we "want to do" because we have put too much on the "need to do" list. Let's me babble for a bit on the different aspects of our life that suffer the most from getting so damn busy. Look at the chaos in this pic....just enough time to see what the other person is doing, talk surface for a bit and then back to the chaos.
We all get buzzing around so fast that we miss seeing each other....really seeing and talking to each other. Take for instance...months ago, Jake decided to shave off his facial hair. He asked me one day if I had noticed. I was taken back by the fact that he had to ask me, but then I was in total shock when I asked him how long it had been...3 DAYS! I hadn't REALLY looked at him (with fresh eyes) in 3 whole days. How long has it been since you saw your sig. other with fresh eyes...a day, week, months, years?:( Another story. I just got back from the most amazing trip to visit a friend in Sacramento (more to come on that). Traveling is the best medicine for getting us to open up our eyes to new experiences. I am on cruise control half the time and notice very little in a day that wasn't similar to the day before. Well, I did a lot of talking about "fresh eyes" (or clear eyes for Lindsey) with Mark and Lindsey as I photographed them for 2 days. I wanted to explore the idea of when we first start dating someone and all the awesomeness that we observe in each other. How do we keep those fresh eyes in a marriage years later? First we have to slow down! Then we have to be curious about the other person. We have to stop putting everything they do into a box of understanding and labeling. When was the last time that we have said something to the effect of, "oh, my husband/wife would never do/like that." How do you know this for sure? WHY do you know this for sure? I hope that I catch myself saying anything that might answer for Jake. I hope I never know him that "well". After all my incredible experiences on my trip I couldn't wait to get home to my pride and joy. Jake and the kids (and of course the dog) were all in the car picking me up. Jake got out to help with my bags and the first thing I notice....he shaved all of his facial hair again. I NOTICED:) His face lit up as I mentioned it because what I really could have been saying was, "I noticed.....I SEE you...I LOVE you!" I am processing a lot on keeping marriages fresh and also noticing how BUSY everyone is. I think they are hugely connected and it's something that has to be balanced all the time. Slow down a little...then a lot and when things get busy again, start the process all over again. When everyone is resting (getting their kids into this and that), be the one that flies away and does what is right for their WHOLE family. Pull up beside someone on the telephone line and really talk, not regurgitate schedules.Jake and I are going on a mini-vaca this weekend to Seattle. Our dear friends Heidi and Dave spoiled us with a weekend workshop at the Gottman Institute. So while the rest of our loved ones are going to soccer, then football, the movies and whatever else on the schedule...we are going to take a second to be different. We are going to focus on the glue of our family...the love that started it all and continues to be the glue! Go find something to have fresh eyes about. Go look at your kids with fresh eyes. Lots more to come on this freshness;) I can't wait to share our trip:)

The Rest of the Story

I don't think I ever posted the happy ending of this story. These are long time clients and two boys later, their life is more than fulfilled:)



I love this picture! You can just see the bliss in the Mom's smile. They are so smitten with their boys.
And Dad's bliss too!
But there is nothing quite like the proud bliss that Grandma exudes in this shot.Just a little fun shot for Dad. I think this little guy will love looking back at this photo when he is older. Trying to wrap his head around how cool his Dad is:)

Sisterhood

Meet Lynn, my older sister by....oh, who needs numbers...she's just a little older than me;) She and her family have lived in Taipei, Taiwan for the last 10 years. I got to spend a lot of time with her this summer and her daughter, Kaiyuh who is all over the blog lately. I just wanted to share her new author pictures with everyone. No, she hasn't exactly written a book yet, but I will be the first to pick up a copy when she finally does. I have always looked up to both my sisters in huge ways, and that is still more true than ever to this day. It is always so much fun to go home and spend time with each of my brothers and sister's families separately. There is something way more intimate sending time in their homes rather then with the huge clan. It is like we are getting to know each other all over again because all the age gaps are now closing because we are all parents and we can relate to this crazy thing called life. Lynn and I got into a little tiff while we were staying at Mom and Dad's house. It was a total misunderstanding and not worth going into details about because we don't even know what we were giving each other the cold shoulder for....but we both knew how to fix it. I went out to the garage to test the waters about how mad she was at me, and how mad I was going to be at her. We looked at each other...paused...and she just said.."I love you, Kath". I said the same and we hugged....that's all it took to squash the pressure that was between us. I am always fascinated about families and how they function and we got into a discussion about it on ichat the other night. I love her outlook on life and she came up with a quote for me to ponder...she thinks the key to family is, "learning to not know them". "There is an advantage in families because there is the free gift of getting to know them as people." It makes total sense in that we don't always get the gift of knowing many of our friends as well as we would like sometimes. That free gift isn't assumed in firendships, it has to be earned. I could go on forever about Lynn, but all I really wanted to say about her is that I think she beautiful inside and out, and I love her. Thank you for a memorable summer that I am still pondering and spiritually growing from. Love, Fifi-Bug:)
I love this picture, but it also makes me a little sad that we didn't take one this summer with the trio if sisters. We got to spend time all together and that always makes me happy and the family feels complete. The boys always look forward to the "girls" coming home all together because it makes Dad happiest to have all "his girls" together.
Happiness is looking into the eyes of a sibling, feeling the love in your heart, and not being able to express it with anything but a smile:) My family is very instrumental in my life and I think about them more then they will ever know. I am blessed. I am happy. I am.
P.S. No spell or grammar-checking Lynn! It was too long of a post to re-read...it is what it is and you get the point:)

Twilight

Anyone else out there that can't get enough of the Twilight series? Yes, it is the next big thing since Harry Potter! Quite frankly, it has our youth in an uproar and they can get quite hostile if interrupted while reading the books. My nieces were all hooked this summer and we lost them for a couple days every time they would start a new one. My niece Kaiyuh always seems to take books a little more seriously than the next kid. She gets so into the roles I am pretty sure that in her world, she is already married to Edward and on their honeymoon. She made herself into a vampire on her blog using the picture above, so I had to put up my rendition. The shoot below is inspired by the craze and we also got some really great shots of the three of them not totally in character:) I'll share some of them just being teenagers. Thanks for the fun girls...love you! Teta

Milo-Man

Many of my nieces and nephews spent the summer performing like little circus monkeys in front of the camera, in hopes of being blogged:) Well, I have to give the award to Milo for being the most persistent! I hope he is happy about making the blog again...and that it's everything he dreamed it would be;) This is where I get all sappy and talk about how amazing he is....no really he is a GREAT kid and my kids idolize him a bit. Most kids hi age would ignore little ones...but, all my nieces and nephews take care and love the little ones. We are a lucky family and I know these kids are going to amazing things.
Milo on Connor. Con-Man was the nephew that was involved with a moose rescue out of the frozen river last year. I don't think I ever blogged it, but we are forever bonded from the experience:)
Stefan, Connor, and Milo striking poses. Maybe they have been watching my blog too much!
And the biggest goof of them all joins the crew. Thanks for all the entertainment boys. We miss you! Love, Teta

Holy cousins, Batman!

As many of you know, some of the hardest shoots we deal with in our life are probably of our own family. I don't know exactly why it is difficult for me to do a pic of my large brewd. I think it is the anticipation and the desire to get it just right. I know how much my mom likes pictures of ALL the grandkids and so I gave it another whirl this summer right before I left. It wasn't easy, but we got through it, with quite a few head swaps here and there;) This is why I am doing what I do. Family is the ultimate payoff for my photography. I am able to give my brothers and sisters memories of their families and I get to spend time getting to know all my nieces and nephews. I got around to doing individual shoots of a few of them, but it was impossible to get through all 19. It was a challenge for the older ones, to do anything they could around me that was going to get them blogged...they all wanted a separate blog of them where I brag about them. Well, here's the post where I brag about how much I love all of them and how much they mean to our family. They are all amazing with my kids and they make us feel so special when we come to town. They are all incredible teens, teens and toddlers that have the biggest hearts on this planet. I love you all and miss you so bad:(

Top row: Jade, (holding) Greyson, Kaiyuh, Connor, Nick, Alec, Stefan, Marek (being held by Kayla), Milo, Sara (holding Sasha).
Bottom row: Jalena, Maija, Amber, Jahnna, Zavier, Jamison, and Tré

Big Shoes to fill

I have decided to devote today's post to my Mom because I don't need a special day to think about how amazing she is. There is no humanly way to put into words everything that I want to say about her. She was, is and alway will be my hero...my mentor...and the person I most look up to. I thought that I always appreciated her and thought she was pretty great my whole life....but I didn't get 'it' until I became a mom myself! I will always look at her path as the yellow brick road! In my mind it is plated in gold and it shimmers in the sunlight. I jump on it for a moment and I realize that they are the biggest pair of shoes I have ever jumped into. I take what I can off of that path and I jump back onto my own. I can't stay on it long because if I were to try my whole life to live up to her legend in my mind, I would never measure up. She is the most humble woman and she is going to not believe that these words are about her because in our own minds it is hard to see ourselves in this light. But I know that all my brothers and sister think she is a Saint and she in nothing short of 'perfect' in my mind. I love you with all my heart Marsh and I am so thankful that God chose me for you. Thank you for showing me a beautiful soul, a gracious heart and a humble mind to model myself after. I have to practice more, but I am getting there:) I think of you everyday and wish that I could be closer. I Love You! Thank You for all that you do.

No Fear!

Jake came out retirement this year to play in the IBL. He has played in this league in the past but has taken a break for a few years. Well, he is in shape again and rockin' it on the court. He now has a place to exert his energy and get out his frustrations instead of city league. The kids are having a blast going to his games....getting their faces painted, cheering, and best of all, getting autographs. I think they have each players autograph 10 times over. Last week they went to a camp held by the YMCA and Tré played B-ball, and Jalena learned a routine with the cheerleaders. I asked her if she got nervous at all, and she looked at me like I was crazy. The girl has no fear and she was great at the halftime show.



Check out her skills. They taught the 3 girls that showed up this routine in about an hour. The girls were on cloud 9 hanging out with the dancers and they were a great influence. Go Volcanoes! I know this is small but you get the idea. She is the one in the pink tank top, gre skirt in the front. Braided pig-tails.

LIFE

So many of you know Jake's "Oprah" story....well, we lost Willie a few days ago:( We were blessed to have him in our lives for the short time that we got to know him. Tré took it very hard the day that I told him, and that was the hardest part. After losing my Grandma last month, then Willie, and now my Dad being in the hospital, life has been a BIG pill to swallow. The hardest part is that life goes on. The daily tasks are still there. You laugh through the day, you cry, and you run errands. Life goes on...and for a few moments of your day, that sad feeling creeps up and you remember your loved one with sadness in your heart. I want to get to that point when you think of them, and it puts a smile on my face:) I know we all have stories of loss...some more than others...and I have been very blessed in that department...So today I am thankful for all of you in my life and for my faith that the loved ones that have passed, are in a better place. Willie lives on in our hearts and I pray for his family to find the strength to get through these difficult days.




I am pregnant with Jamison (whom carries Willie's last name) in this picture.

Happy Love Day!

All you need is love...All you need is love:) Thought everyone could use a little kiss from my little man. Hope you are loving yourself on this silly holiday called Valentine's Day. Here's a quote from my passion book to carry with you today. "Love really is the answer. We're here only to teach love. When we're doing that, our souls are singing and dancing." (Gerald Jampolsky, M.D.) Well, you can see my soul singing and dancing reading this blog. Photography has opened up my soul to others and I have a medium to show it. My family makes my heart skip a beat.....speaking of skipping a beat.....my sister is great..heart is stronger than ever and I love her and ALL my family more than words can say.

Family

I know you all have seen this picture before....but after being away from family at a difficult time I wanted to grab the first picture that spoke to me and made me feel better. My Dad is in the hospital with a staph infection where he hooks up for dialysis. I don't understand all the technical stuff and the next steps to getting him better are all very sudden and seem serious. He has to have the tubing removed as quick as possible to get rid of the infection and then they have to create a new line so that he can go through with his regular dialysis on Wednesday. He is very weak, and his fever has totally taken him down. I can hear it in everyone's voice that they are scared of the unknown and hurt when they see Dad so weak. I say all this and I feel better when I look at this picture because I know how important family is and this pic shows the love that is needed to get through tough times like these. I want more then anything to be home with everyone right now and I feel so helpless here going through my daily routine. As the kids got down on their knees tonight and said the most beautiful prayer for their Grandma and Papa, I just smiled. It wasn't until I wrote this that I totally broke down because I have been storing up all the emotion, just waiting to hear news. He is very strong and I know he is going to get through this, but it is a very hard transition to go through....life isn't slowing down any and the love just keeps growing....which makes for a very large heart that can easily get broken. I miss my family and wish I could pull together with them at this time. BTW what is that painful feeling that you get in your throat when you are about to cry...I want a medical explanation for that annoying pain! Hug your family and tell them that you love them tomorrow.

Shots of the Week!

These are my favorite moments of the week that I wanted to share. The kids and I went to Oaks Park spur of the moment because I wanted to check it out for another shoot. We had a blast and the kids thought it was the fair (that we missed this year). The carousel out there is beautiful and that was my favorite spot to shoot the kids.
This was on a walk to feed some deer that live close to us. The deer weren't out but the walk was worth it to see the love between these two. I love this age, where they love hanging out and they are each others bestfriend.
And this one just melts my heart because all the kids are growing at a rate that I just can't wrap my head around, but Jake still makes them look small.
I can't wait to see what this week has in store for memories. This is the week before they go back to school, so we better live it up!

Lainy Week

Well, as it turns out there have been quite a few pictures of this little girl this week. I am going to have to get my boys in front of the camera more next week. I love these three snapshots from our family walk the other night because the looks seem to sum her up very well. The first describes her..."dreamer" side, the second..."miss serious", and the last is..."little miss goofy". These are the shots of my kids that I will treasure forever. There's no posing, no acting, this is just her, being her! I love you Little Girl!

3, 5, 9

Well, we got through the birthday month! The kids got spoiled and we are blessed with another amazing year together. I had this crazy idea in my head to go shoot them in the field that we always go to and I would have these balloons in their hands to signify their age. Mind you, I thought I was being a genius going with the while balloons on a cloudy day...the sun came out to play! Well, somehow my lovely partner (Chris) and I got the balloons tangled and in the untangling process Tré ended up with eight and Jalena, 4. I am so observant that I didn't see it until I brought them up on the computer. I really get caught up in the moment and I have been know to miss big details like this before...oh well. I love photoshop fixes! It was a fun 20 minute shoot that captured part of the picture that I had in my head.

Update!

I think I remember mentioning in my blog that my Dad was having surgery and then never updated! Well, the surgery went great and he is back home in his own beddy-by in the AK now. My Mom and him are just taking day by day as it comes at them and they will be adjusting to big change in their life. He goes in for his first run at dialysis on Friday and he feels great going into it. The doctors always tell him that he is a medical mystery and that he shouldn't be here.....well, I guess that it's FINALLY a blessing that he's stubborn! We are blessed in so many ways and he might have all of his health, but he still is on this earth to experience all the love that he has created in a family! My Mom is just getting closer and closer to sainthood! I love you both! K