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Thursday, April 9, 2009

Maintenance

It's not our anniversary until August, but I wanted to take a moment to celebrate almost 11 YEARS outside of the designated celebration month. I know that Jake and I have a lot to offer younger couples out there about marriage, but not in the form of advice. Advice comes when someone asks for it, and by then, they already know and are fishing for the answer they want to hear. It's more about being an example and being very real. Lately, as I have been running my mouth about, it all being about "maintaining before you have to fix it". I get frustrated because there isn't a lot out there in our faces reminding us to collect new tools to help maintain our marriages. We can probably all find a divorce lawyer before you could find a good marriage counselor or marriage encounter retreat. Why don't more couples get together to help celebrate their marriages along with the "my night and your night". How many times have we gone on dates because we "needed" to connect and the movie or club didn't quite do it for us...it just put another band aid on the communication breakdown? Well, this is me reminding everyone to find a new way to connect. A new way to go below the surface with your bestfriend and to go collect some new tools to bring to the communication table. Stare into your spouses eyes for 1 minute straight. No talking. No laughing. Just stare and try to free your mind of thoughts. Usually we stare into each others eyes right before a kiss, a hug, or being intimate. Just go take a minute to see each other! And here is a quote that comes to mind, "Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness. Happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes when you're lucky. Joy is the light that fills you with hope and faith and love." (Adela Rogers St. Johns)
So yes, we are lucky and happy. But what you see after 11 years is sheer JOY and we built that together and maintain it everyday:) Take that to the alter all you young couples;)

5 comments:

Aaron Galeotti Photography said...

awww... i love you guys so much! and your marriage is beautiful, and makes me proud to know you. Cheers to you guys and your wonderful love!

:)

Jacque Binkley said...

Thanks Kathy for all the insight you give and the joy you bring to my life! Love you and your family; miss you tons.

jess said...

that is so sweet, and such an awesome example to set~ especially for your kiddos! thanks for the advice :)

Cindy Cieluch Photography said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cindy Cieluch Photography said...

After the trip Matt & I made this weekend, we are closer than ever. But still, I want to try your stare exercise. I also want to tell you that your quote struck a really deep chord with me, as Joy (the person) really does live up to what Joy truly means. I've never heard this quote, but now I'm going to share it with Joy's family. Thank you for sharing this Kathy. And sorry for the psycho/frantic call this afternoon!!!!