First a picture of the old room and a few words on Father's Day(about my Dad, Jake later today, he has to have his own post:). This was the last time that my Dad was able to come to our neck of the woods. We get to see him quite often in Seattle when he is there for medical. His health is the same and we are all learning to just be thankful for everyday that we have together. With the new room all bright and shiny, it will represent change and new life.
I didn't have to study Freudian theories to know that I would always look to my father for his approval. I know a lot of you might be thinking that you don't fall into this way of thinking...then why do you want your significant other's constant praise and approval? Or do you go outside your marriage to be noticed by males to feel cute or sexy (we all like approval, validation). I don't mean to let this come across in a negative way. My Dad is very proud of me and I adore every part of him. I am very conscious of the scars I received from self-affliction. For searching out a lifetime, thus far, of validation from anyone but myself.
When I met Jake, I discovered my safe place. I know and trust fully in this place and I am able to embark on a journey that I never knew I needed to go on. Allowing me for the first time, to explore myself. I am shedding so many old layers of my ego to open up the wounds and heal them myself, and trying to understand the person underneath. P.S. I am really starting to love that person all naked and stripped down;)
To my parents...thank you for being my safe place for years. I am ready to give this thing called life, a try on my own. To my Dad on this special day...I know your life was extremely busy because you worked so hard to give us all a charmed life. Thank you! Thank you also for noticing me in your little ways, subtle as they are. I admire you...adore you...respect you... and LOVE you. I hope that you can drop the worry and the guilt that we build up as parents and enjoy your 7 amazing successes that will be calling just to hear your strong voice of approval and proudness. Happy Father's Day...Love, Baby Duck (no one can use that one on me besides him, so don't try it;)
And to Jude...Jake always wishes you a Happy Father's Day because you were and continue to be his everything. Happy Day to you for raising one of the most exceptional children ever to grace this Earth:)To Willie...I know you are looking down on Jake with the most admiring, longing eyes. I am sorry that you didn't get to truly know one of the most beautiful pieces of you. God gave him to you just in time to wash out some of the guilt with knowing pure love. We were blessed to have you in the short time that we got you, and I we are thankful for that. For year's Father's Day was just a reminder that there was a Dad somewhere out there that was missing out on a miraculous life. Today I see Jake's eyes lit up and his soul on fire because he is the Father that he never had. He embarked on his independent journey much earlier than I, and I will continue to pull right up next to his path and learn all that I can.