If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what were told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
I need your grace
to remind me
to find my own
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in our perfect eyes, they're all I need to see.
Today I let go...I listened to this song (Chasing Cars) for what felt like the first time. How could a song come to life and tell my story in a week exactly? I have found someone that literally layed beside me....he didn't have to say a thing, he just looked into my eyes and saw the fear and counteracted it with all that he has inside. He layed with me in that hospital and although he may have felt scared inside as well, he never showed it to me. He is my ROCK. He is my gift from God and I am overcome with his strength and love. I have so many things to talk about and so much to explain. I have been talking with family and friends for days and I can't tell you how much strength has come from all the love. My heart is full and I was delivered HOPE, not heartache. I went back to these pictures that Shannon took of us a couple years ago and I cried. Only for a second, and it wasn't a cry of sadness. I am thankful and overwhelmed with love. I am feeling one of the strongest feelings to ever come over me and that is a calmness that is new to me. I know it is because of FAITH and it is because my path just became a lot more clear. The puzzle of my life is coming together right before my eyes and it is exciting.
Yes I have been diagnosed with a disease named MS but I don't want to use the words "I have MS" because I am not willing to give it that power. I am Ms. Carlisle....and that period that separates the word from me will always remind me that there is hope. Thank you so much for all your support and please don't apologize because I am smiling even as I write this. I am in fight mode and I am able to handle this and I will never let that smile fade:)
25 comments:
Oh Kathy.
I won't say I'm sorry because you told us not to, so...you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I am SO thankful to have you in my life and I know I'm not the only one whose life you have touched. Just know that you give ME strength and hope just being who you are: selfless, giving, talented, creative, caring, and so effing funny!!! You rock, and this entry proves that fact times ten. I know you have a lot of love and support in your life, just hope you know that Patrick and I are part of that.
Hope to see you soon, let me know when you have a spare moment for us to come by.
Thinking of ya!!
Love,
Missy
I don't know what to say. I am not usually speechless. I am so giving you a HUGE hug at the moment - hope you feel the love I am sending your way. ANYTHING you need, just ask.
You are so inspiring... thank you for sharing your thoughts... love you. ~Erin
It has been awhile since I have "bumped" into you around town - but your blog makes me feel connected! You and your beautiful family will be in our thoughts and prayers -
love you sister...
bon jovi is singing in my head right now...all for you baby, all for you.
keep the faith!
<3k.
Oh my goodness Kathy - I have tears in my eyes. And I know you said don't say 'sorry' so I won't but know that I admire your strength and attitude and I will be praying for you. You are an amazing person and I know you are a fighter - I can read who you are in all of your posts. Thank you for sharing this with us - opening your heart to us all is such a gift. Hugs & Kisses, Kara
P.S. I love love love that Snow Patrol song - it's one of my favorites!!!
ok fighter you finally brought tears to my eyes and i'm a little vaklempt. i'm a lot happier seeing your new blogpost cuz I was missin' your posts. I only dropped my g's for you NOT becuz of she who must not be named. gobama, Is that all cryptic enough for VOTE OBAMA? I'd vote mccain if jake were vp
Stay with your heart chakra--tons of good vibrations and tons more than your mind or spine will ever put out. Thanks for all the heart and love,
L.
LOVE YOU! ox LOVE YOU! ox LOVE YOU! oxLOVE YOU! oxLOVE YOU! ox LOVE YOU! ox
you know that if you were here right now you would be in the middle of one BIG group hug and kisses!!!! but until then...feel the LOVE baby..feel the LOVE!!!
sheli...smile ox
Your view on life is so inspiring! I love and admire your honesty, the way you describe your peace of mind is amazing. Thank you for letting us into your life. I have not a doubt in the world that you and your family can and will conquer anything together.
We love you,
April and family
Kath, every time I read anything on your blog, it is apparent that you love life. You are true light to me and many others, as you speak from your heart, your faith, the love you give and gain from your family. The fact that you take a life changing week and become more powerful, more faithful and more appreciative of life, is about one of the most inspiring and uplifting sentiments I have ever known. We love you and offer you our prayers and happiness.
When I talked to you last week, I was searching to find the right words. "I'm sorry" never came to mind.
That's because you're not the type of person who thrives on pity. You don't question what God hands to you. You accept life's challenges with strength and courage, which inspires everyone around you.
Although we were all shocked to learn about your diagnosis, I'm sure nobody is shocked about your reaction. There's not too many people out there who are fighting MS with a smile. :) I admire you Kathy!
F-ing wow. lots of F. i just cant believe it...
love you love you!!!!!!!
kathy.
i was really saddened when i read the news. but that sadness was immediately lifted but your amazing uplifting attitude and spirit! your amazing! im fighting for you in my prayers.
-Aaron
Your beauty shines inside and out. Keep the Faith and keep fighting. Blessings to you and your family.
thanks for such a beautiful post. You're an amazing woman. Amazing. So talented, smart, encouraging, positive, thankful..... I'm in awe of you.
Spence said it best "It's Kathy, she's probably taking this on like another challenge, they'll be fine." Love ya
yep, you rock....whatever you need I am there period. Date night when we get back, you and that ROCK of yours need a night out! xoxox
love you kath!
prayers from australia..
Dear MS.
When our unexpected/unplanned curve in the road came to our house, you were nothing short of being a cheerleader, a supporter, a voice, a comfort and a pillar for me with your words & comments & sometimes silence... allowing us to enjoy the moment rather than the diagnosis.
So I read your unexpected curve in the road & I see that you have met my friend Kathy. Because in all people, there is the potential for the Kathy I know, to be different than the Kathy YOU know. But you know her, and you are her & you are as strong as she was for me....
I hope you continue to share, to teach us, to help us help you, to be an advocate & in turn teach/help others. Because by your sharing, you inspire, & you make me want to do better, do more. Where's a walk, a fundraiser, a benefit - i am there, tell me! You know?
I will continue to look to your postings as "REAL" like you like to be, so sometimes sad, sometimes inspiring, sometimes angry, sometimes accepting always sharing. You are real, I love your real'ness' & appreciate your heart, your voice & your strength.
Thank you.
Love you.
My best to you & your angels!
It's amazing to me that you can say you know why, because the rest of us are thinking, "why do bad things happen to good people?" My only answer to that is that you are such an inspiring person that through this struggle, you will be able to touch even more people than you have already. I miss you tons and think of you often. You and the fam are in our prayers!
Love you,
A
I can't believe your other sister used this post to promote her political agenda. No shame. And Ms. Carlisle, you are also part Hajduk. So much strength. So much love!
Love, T
Hi Kathy - you are in my thoughts....what a spirit you have.
-Leah
Perhaps you're feeling off track.
No destination. No path to follow.
It's ok to be right where you're at.
When you are ready
Your track will be before you again
and you will renew your journey.
I have to admit I didn't write this, but when I came across it, I thought of you.
Sending you all our love from Anchorage.
Kathy~ You are such an amazing woman.Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Justin, Elisa, Sarah & Julian
Hi Kathy, this is Cindy's little sister, Jess. I do not know you very well (I think we met sometime when we all lived in Alaska years ago) or maybe I just knew of you b/c you were such a volleyball star! :) I just had to tell you that you inspire me Kathy. Reading your posts and hearing all of the wonderful things my sister says about you just tells me that you are one of the most passionate yet toughest girls ever! I know hands down that you inspire my sister in every way personally and professionally and I can't thank you enough for always being there for Cindy. When we were in Korea last month, she talked about you so much and I somehow feel that I know you now. I know you are going to get through all of this...i will keep you and your family in my prayers always. Stay strong and keep the FAITH! You are such an inspiration for so many people Kathy and we all cannot thank you enough. And your pictures ROCK and your kiddos are just adorable!! Lots of love from San Antonio, Jess xoxoxoxo
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