More tears please...

These are happier tears this time with the day 2 story. First I will make you cry, but then I have a good laugh for you as well (hang in there Kenz:) Take a look at this face below. Really look at his smile. There is so much joy. And above all, this little guy is bursting at the seams with LOVE. I never really understood why people question whether or not they are going to have enough love for a second child after they pour so much into the first. Well, I can assure you that any doubt that you have in your mind is washed out when your heart is filled from the sibling love. There is no prouder moment than witnessing that overwhelming love that a child has for their sibling. When they get excited to be with them every moment of the day. When they get protective of them. Or when they have moments like this....Tré came home yesterday and told me that the day was awesome. Then he paused...he said with a shy smirk, "but almost cried again". Jalena asked why before I could. The conversation went like this...
"Jalena, do you remember when we saw each other at recess. Well, when the bell rang and I knew that you had to leave I felt the burning in my throat because I wanted to cry." She asked why..."I guess it is because I love you so much that I didn't want you to go, I wanted to go with you." Later he was telling Jake and I about it again and he elaborated. He said that he was scared for her. He was worried that she would get scared or feel like crying and he wanted to be there for her. So he got over his own moment of fear the day before...but then he put the same fears into someone else's life and took on the emotions again. I am so thankful for all the love lessons in my life and I am proud that my kids have a safe place to process their emotions. I told them that they are lucky in love and that they should be proud of loving so fully. I told Tré that he has to be careful/conscience of putting emotions on others and worrying about how they might feel. He doesn't get it quite yet because he doesn't have control of his compassion...and that is probably what makes him so great and full of lessons for us to learn.

Just in case a few of you are crying (Mom:), here is another favorite moment of the week. I was working on the computer and I could hear the kids plotting in Jalena's room right next door. They came flying into the studio and thank goodness the camera was on my desk and ready to go to capture this greatness! SUPER UNDIES!!!!!
I'd like to say that this is the first time that my kids have done this, but I can't:) I will say that the little princess below was the first to ever attempt such a thing. I think she as about 4 when she first tried it and the boys thought it was genius. I know your kids have done this as well...go get the dang camera out and capture your own memories. Don't them slip away.

Get out of your own way!

What a day! First day of school and I fully expected waterworks as I always do each year when I have to detach from my kids after an amazing summer. What I didn't expect was tears from my 4th grader and yet another important lesson in life;) The day started off great. Everyone was excited...I know this because there was so much chatter this morning that you would have thought it was Christmas. I made binders for the kids that had Keeta's pictures all over it so they would miss her too much. Put everyone in the car (including the dog) and headed off to school with a little pep in our step...First stop, yearly pose...everybody's doing it:) Stay with me until the end for the lesson or at least tears....
Next stop...Tré gets swarmed by his friends...wait there are no boys in there? He tell THE GIRLS that he has to help his sister first. True to Tré style..."Jalena, this is where your backpack goes and then you line up right here when the bell rings.""Tré, I KNOW, I've watch you every year! I'm outta here!" True Jalena (The Icebreaker) style.It didn't take Tré long to get right back into the swing of things.Thank goodness they still don't what to do next once they catch their prey;)Then it was one last shoe tying session...the bell...the anticipation of saying good-bye) this is where I start to get a little weepy.Jalena....nervous maybe, but hidden by the shield of bravery and excitement. Tré...proud...nervous, but looks great and gives me a confident wave good-bye. I'm not quite sure what happened in the time that I clicked off my camera, grabbed Jamie's hand and walked halfway down the hall.I hear these heavy, desperate footsteps with a small whimper to echo. It is Tré sprinting after me just seconds after I saw the little smile on his face as I left him.Most of you would not have turned back on the camera. Most of you would have handled this situation differently...but I assure you that in the next steps that I took, I probably covered all of your choices. First, I coddled and told him that it was perfectly normal to be scared. After 10 minutes of getting nowhere with rationalizing I went with parenting technique #2...stern. Get in there and go see your friends and stop letting the fear get a hold of you. #3 Let's try some breathing techniques and try to stay in the now...what do you hear, feel, smell?" Clearly he couldn't smell a thing because he had been crying for 15 minutes and it was stuffed. Now the teacher comes out to see what in God's name I have done...she sees that I need back-up and gives her hand at it. Still no go and MORE tears. Now I just want to cry with him and take him home with me...fun rollercoaster, huh...stay with me:)Bribery (which I take pride in NEVER using). Let's talk about the surprise that I am going to work on for when you get out of school and tell me all the ways that you got over your fears and had fun. Nothing...sobbing now! I am pretty sure that we are 2 hours into this ordeal at this point (reality, 15 mins/30 tops). I tell him to go get a drink, gather himself and march into that room and I will wait outside the door until he feels comfy. Sure, I was prepared to stay the whole day. Final technique #5...in a final last effort to put all my mommy skills into action, I seize the opportunity when the teacher came out for the second time...to get the heck out of dodge. I told her to hold onto him, that I loved him and that I had to go.I am pretty sure that my whole heart was left behind or at least sitting in my throat in that fleeting moment. If you could zoom into his face full of emotion in this pic you would be bawling. In all my techniques and all my wishes, there was nothing I could do to get him out of his own paralysis created by fear. I could relate to this more than he could possibly know. I still feel those paralyzing moments that takes me right back to a scared, little girl that can't find the courage to take the next step. So as I sit here and try to write this through the tear-blurred vision. This day, these moments were designed just for me. I was suppose to have these lessons today through my little appendages. One being brave and showing me the path that I know that I can choose. And the "older me" showing me that it's o.k. to be scared. It's ok to fear change. It's NOT o.k. to be paralyzed and to get in my own way so badly that I need someone to grip me out of it. So thank you kiddos. Thank you for being the most beautiful human beings in this world. I want to feel like this when I get off this bus that I am on. I want to hold my hands open this wide to show the world that I made myself fell "this big" today. Tré told me that he thought of Keeta to get out of the fear. He said that he looked at the binder of Keeta if he felt sad. Mommy tactic # whatever, worked! He found his own way out and he felt so proud.We're o.k. now. I'm O.K! I am so thankful for this day and these tears, and to be able to share. Tomorrow is a new day...and I won't be walking the kids into the school. I think I will just stay in the car and cry. I will pretend for a moment that I am able to push the pause button on this thing called life that is always is fast forward. God help me next week when this guy goes to his first day of his last year in preschool. God help me when he goes to Kindergarten. Let's not even talk about all 3 in full day just yet.
The lesson of the day...get the hell out of your own way. Take one of your biggest fears and stop giving yourself thousands of reasons to hold onto it. Just conquer it. I can't tell you how, but I can tell you how amazing it is going to feel on the other side of it!

So Beautiful

50 Years...they are different then us. They're journey is so unique to them. And yet I see us in them. I see the respect, the ultimate admiration, and the over-whelming love in their eyes that has grown over 50 years. That is HOPE. Because I know that we are them. We will be looking into each other's eyes in another 39 years thinking to ourselves, "where did the time go?" I will have the same New Bride glow about me, and you will be handsome as ever. I can't wait to have someone snag a picture of you gazing at me as if I were the same blushing bride that you remember 50 years ago.
I can't wait to renew our vows and not be able to get many words out amongst the tears because the moment is too overwhelming with love. I can't wait until 50+ years of this same love takes my breathe away with you by my side, holding my wrinkled hand.
I can't wait to kiss you with my eyes closed and in that moment, have no clue that 50 years has passed because the love is so familiar and timeless.
So beautiful you are...
please don't move
you feel so good to me..
so very beautiful.

What could inspire such words on this fine day, you ask? What does 11 years of passion, respect, trust, friendship, love, lust and laughter equal...Marriage. 11 years ago at this time I believe I was about to walk down that isle with butterflies filling my stomach and chest waiting to see Jake's face as he sees his beautiful, blushing bride for the first time. I never could have anticipated where our young love would take us.
"What is passion? It is surely the becoming of a person." I cannot thank you enough Jake, for helping me shape into a person I can be proud of, in a love that is so unique...it could only come straight from God.
You...
You are so patient
so deep
so funny,
so open. (I am at a loss of all the words I could use to describe so many amazing qualities)
Me..
I am so thankful,
so hopelessly in love,
so excited and thirsty for more.
Together, I am pretty sure that we are unstoppable. You are on my mind all the time. You are the best thing to ever happen to me:)
If there were ever the most perfect reflection of our love that I could use to describe our love, it would have to be these three! Can you even believe the life we have created for ourselves. Happy Anniversary my love. Thank you God for the perfect man for me. Thank you Jake for all that you are. I love you more than these silly words could ever express...

Trifecta

Our friends had a house party the other night (it's been a while since I went to one of those:). Of course they needed a theme, so they called it the Trifecta. At the time they names it, 3 celebrities had unfortunately passed away (Michael, Farrah, and Ed M.) So we had to choose one to dress as:) Is that hysterical or what. So here we are after finding some treasures at Goodwill and getting ready from store to party, in just 2 hours. What a night. I have video footage of Jake lighting the party on fire with his Michael moves. Fun times:)

This is my lovely friend Amanda that got roped into going after we picked blueberries together all day. Sh was a little untrusting of the whole outfit (found in my closet) because she felt more like a pirate then Farrah;) I think she just looked plain, hot!
Who knew we would find the most amazing suit at the first stop and the first glance. That's how we role with our positive energy!

Unveiling!

O.K. imagine these so much brighter!!! Thanks for still sucking Blogger, and I will pat myself on the back for dragging my feet on starting my new blog. I'm on it:) This project was so much more about the feelings of accomplishment, bravery, anticipation, and so many other emotions more then just surprising my hubby or having fun with friends. I will forever hold this weekend in my heart as a reminder to keep things spiced up and to always go looking to put the butterflies in my own stomach. To go do something that you are so proud and excited about that you quite possibly are the most contagious person in that moment. I took more than a baby step with this project and the accomplishment is bleeding into so many other avenues in my life, I can hardly stand it. What energy are you carrying with you today? What are you saying to yourself over and over? I have said that I am not a do'er, that I am a procrastinator....yada, yada. Well, when I "do", I am amazing. And when I am determined it is liberating. Thank you again to Amy and Aaron, and thank you all for your excitement you shared with me. You will have to come over to experience the true vibrant colors and amazing energy in our love nest in person. Or I could just keep it all to myself and tell you to go do your own;) Here's to doing!

The headboard is a work in progress. We plan on putting some ridiculously, amazing pictures up there soon.
This is a print that I made using Session beer caps with Rock, Paper, Scissors and the words above are "Managing our Love". That is exactly how Jake and I decide who does the not-so-fun, jobs in our lives (usually entailing cleaning up poop of all kinds;)Me+Him=Love! I also have one more on another wall that has us together in it.
This is the love note board. I want to be able to leave sticky notes of love on here every so often.
This is me being totally happy and beyond excited to show Jake. I think this is right before he got home.
These are the beautiful flowers that Brittney gave me that made the room smell like Hawaii. And I this was a new table from Target that I glues record coast to so that I could match my record wall downstairs.A love note to Daddy from his little girl:)

While you were out!

This amazing story is going to have to take up a couple of posts because it is so full of moments that I never want to forget! Let me set the stage....Jake and I have always dreamed of a serene, perfectly, perfect grown up bedroom since we have been married. Why then, has it been at the bottom of the priority list? Well, he went away last weekend to Canada for B-Ball. I started to think about our room while he was gone the first night and I didn't like it at all. I will try to dig up a picture. Well, I decided to call my friend Amy just to tell her that I was thinking of doing a "While you were out" surprise for Jake and after my conversation with her we decided to do just that. I tried to talk myself out of it because I didn't feel capable or inspired. Well, inspiration was just what I go when Aaron and Amy came over to work on project "Love Nest"! I am not even going to try to put into words what this weekend meant to me! I will attempt it in the next post.

1st stop, Home Depot for supplies for designing on a dime.

You can tell how much fun we are already having at stop #1 from her cheeser smile:)Stop #2..our second tea of the day. I wanted to sneak up on the two when they came out of Starbuck's, paparazzi-style. First I had to set up the shot...BOO! Is that you Aaron Galeotii and Amy Seeley?!!!!!I am pretty sure that if Aaron's hands weren't so full that I would have lost all my teeth to a flying judo kick! LOL Are you dying over his scared face. This was so worth it for this one picture right here. We pretty much didn't stop laughing from this point on. Step 3..Take a picture of us, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed before we begin on Sat. at 5pm.Eager Beavers ready to go!Step 4...Bring in the helpers. Amy got Jamie.Aaron got Tré and Jalena.How did I get the short end of the stick and get this A-Hole?Let me just tell you a thing or two that I learned about this girl last weekend. She is even more amazing then I ever thought she was (which I thought to be impossible). Sometimes I overthink things until a I paralyze myself or get in my own way. I was trying to talk myself out of this project all the way up until after getting the supplies. Amy stepped up to the plate and started taking outlet covers off and taping and it felt like she was taking layers of fear off of me and mending my heart. It's just as I spoke about before when I talked about friends coming into your life and help you take the babysteps. I depend on Jake to do just that for me everyday and now I am trying to find the courage within. The "I can do it" attitude. Thank goodness I have friends as training wheels:) I have so much more to write on this and pictures to show. Just a teaser for now;)