"Is it not by love alone that we succeed in penetrating to the very essence of a being?"
I haven't talked much lately about my Ms. Carlisle life and I have been doing a lot of processing, so here you go. I get a lot of "how are you feeling?" When I answer, "Great!" There is always a quick look up and down, and then a "well, you look great!" I wish it were all based on how I looked;) Yes, I have lost a lot of weight, but then again, I am eating a very low fat diet. It is a cross between the Swank diet and The Ms Recovery Diet (based on McDougal's studies). I eat any kind of fish, chicken breast, turkey breast. Lots of fruits, veggies, and nuts. I introduce things as often as I can, but for the most part, it is very much the same foods everyday. Jake has been my saving grace and somehow he comes through with dinner when I feel like I can't bare the thought of food (making it at least). It will be one year since my diagnoses in October and sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday. I haven't made the necessary strides that I want to take towards diet and making it a number 1 priority. I haven't been symptom-free yet:( But everything is completely bearable and I haven't had any episodes like the first. Most of my frustration comes from the food side of things. Another side of the frustration comes into play when I am fatigued, have a headache, tingling to much and I am able to put into the MS box that never seems to make sense. Hence the sad face below. I was taking snapshots of myself today trying to see my face when I thought of certain things. Apparently when I think about the above thoughts this is what I look like. I see a little sadness but more determination and focus.
The upside...I have come SO FAR!!! I don't sell myself short of all the accomplishments I have worked hard for this year. How could one year be so full of so much change? I love my life and I am still 100% thankful that I had a diagnoses, and more importantly, a WAKE up CALL! The perspective is stronger than ever, and when I think of all the changes we have made as a family, this is the face that appears:)
And this is the sheer joy that apparently shows on my face when I am doing what I love. Thanks for the shot Amy...it warms my heart right to the core!
I have much more to write about that I have been processing but this is all that I want to focus on today.
I haven't talked much lately about my Ms. Carlisle life and I have been doing a lot of processing, so here you go. I get a lot of "how are you feeling?" When I answer, "Great!" There is always a quick look up and down, and then a "well, you look great!" I wish it were all based on how I looked;) Yes, I have lost a lot of weight, but then again, I am eating a very low fat diet. It is a cross between the Swank diet and The Ms Recovery Diet (based on McDougal's studies). I eat any kind of fish, chicken breast, turkey breast. Lots of fruits, veggies, and nuts. I introduce things as often as I can, but for the most part, it is very much the same foods everyday. Jake has been my saving grace and somehow he comes through with dinner when I feel like I can't bare the thought of food (making it at least). It will be one year since my diagnoses in October and sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday. I haven't made the necessary strides that I want to take towards diet and making it a number 1 priority. I haven't been symptom-free yet:( But everything is completely bearable and I haven't had any episodes like the first. Most of my frustration comes from the food side of things. Another side of the frustration comes into play when I am fatigued, have a headache, tingling to much and I am able to put into the MS box that never seems to make sense. Hence the sad face below. I was taking snapshots of myself today trying to see my face when I thought of certain things. Apparently when I think about the above thoughts this is what I look like. I see a little sadness but more determination and focus.
And this is the sheer joy that apparently shows on my face when I am doing what I love. Thanks for the shot Amy...it warms my heart right to the core!
I have much more to write about that I have been processing but this is all that I want to focus on today.
6 comments:
You are so beautiful and inspirational and hopeful and wonderful and positive and graceful and genuine and lovely and hilarious and infectious and have the greatest aura ever! - truly - ever... i appreciate how you see life - how you focus on the good in the bad - which turns the bad into good. i appreciate the fighter in you. the dreamer. the believer. i appreciate it very, very much.
YOU are a wake up call!! :) so amazing to see your journey threw this this past year.. I wonder how many peoples lives have already been changed from the results of your diagnoses! and how many boxes have been burned ;) i think the reason you look great is a result of the joy and fire inside your soul! thank you for being true thank you for being you.
A :)
I came across your blog via a semi-random stream of links a month or so ago. I'm so glad I did! Your blogs are a vivid reflection of an unfaltering joy and a vigor for whatever life presents... your tenacity is totally contagious! Not to mention, I've always admired folks who've mastered the art of photography :)
i had an epiphany when i just read this. hmm... something to talk about. at the beach. next week... it's a date ;)
~S
Tears of Joy....I am proud to say I am a friend of yours thats for dang sure. Thank God for you!
dude-whatever face you are making it is just pure hottie, i love your face :)
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