T+D=Happy Maternity!

After getting back from my workshop in San Diego I have been in a state of deep thought, processing, and in love with life. I keep wanting to post on my experience, but it is all too much still. instead I decided to focus on the now...a beautiful love story that I have been blessed to have experienced only for a moment (or 4 hours). I promised them a sneak peak, so here they are...two little love birds, soon to be three. Thank you for finding me 'D' and believing that I was the one that just had to tell your story. You both clearly inspired me and I can't wait to show you the rest of the story....


I have only photographed one other maternity in this spot and that was the owner of this land (and up and coming photographer Kenz). These guys were probably my one and only couple to brave the adventure down to this little piece of Heaven. Oh, and we all got to conquer our bee fears by scaling down an infested pipe that everyone gets stung by when they pass. The bee-Gods were with us this day.

There is something about her smile that can melt your soul. She is very reserved and a thinker so I love these moments when she just let go. Every women is going to want to scratch her eyes out for being such a tiny little prego girl, and I'm sure it's not going to help when I say she has a beauty on the inside that matches the outer shell!

Empowering Shoot

Well, I used to call these "Hottie" shoots, but I always said that I would change the name when I came up with something stronger. I met with a gal not too long ago, Sharla Vellek and the name of her company is Empowering Grace. After chatting for a while with her about what my shoots for women are all about, I thought the word "empowering" that she uses was absolutely perfect. It's all about accepting yourself for who you are at this time in your life...every flaw and all. We are always able to look back on ourselves in the past and point out our strengths and wished we could have embraced them at the time, but only saw them as weaknesses. I know I look back at college pictures and fall in love with my body, but you couldn't have told me at the time that I was smokin:) I know from experience that these types of shoots are in fact empowering, and even if it is for a moment, I want women to be able to feel beautiful and look fantabulous! I remember watching the video from this Dove Campaign years ago and it summed up what I want to show every woman in my life. What you see on TV and in the magazines isn't the reality of photography. The reality is in the eye of the beholder...how you feel on the inside and what you feel when you see pictures of yourself. Thanks 'A' for celebrating your beauty with this shoot and for letting me see a piece of your spirit. As you can tell from the outside...she has a beautiful inside.





You have to check out this other Dove ad that I just found on the campaign site...Onslaught video. This is what I am talking about with accepting ourselves...it seems impossible sometimes when we get wrapped up into the ads and Hollywood.

Making a difference...

"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." William James
"Most people are like you and me, or a person across the street or around the world from you and me, their hearts tell them that somewhere, somehow they can make a positive difference in the world." William Baker
The other night Jake and I were having a deep talk and it started from me feeling like I am going to make a difference. O.K. so I watched Freedom Writers and it got me thinking about what I am doing with my life. I am so blessed, I am so fulfilled, and yet it feels like there is something I am being groomed for? I have never felt like this before and the thoughts are nowhere near complete. I know I make a difference to an extent with my photography now, but I think there is a bigger picture. I feel like there is already a road that I am suppose to be following, I just haven't opened my eyes to the whole picture yet. I don't know if it is necessarily photography that I am going to make the "difference" or if it is Jake making the difference with me by his side, or maybe my kids for that matter. I know it all sounds a little cliché, but I can't totally describe the feeling that I had. I just need to keep an opened mind and a open heart. After we had this compelling talk, I read through a quote book that a friend gave me and two quotes above were the ones that I flipped to....coincidence, I think not! I decided to throw in a couple pictures that signify the 'difference' in my life. My Heaven's Eye bead made a huge difference in my life. And we all know that just putting these amazing kids on this earth could make all the difference in the world:) But the real difference...the biggest...is not featured here, but we all know....is Jake. He has sparked the desire in me to be a better person and we believe in each other so passionately. He was the one who has paved a safe path for me to believe in myself, to take risks, and to live life, not fear it. So here's to making a difference...whether big or small and always dreaming bigger.

Miss B

Wait until you see this girl's whole shoot! I am only half way through the shoot and I can't get through it all fast enough. This lovely person has been in my life for 5 years and we have been blessed to have her amazing family in our lives. I have watched 'B' grow into her own over the years and I love the person I see before me. She has a confidence inside her that gets stronger and stronger each day that is going to take her an incredible journey in life. What more could you ask for in a daughter, and they have four of them! I enjoyed our day so much 'B' and although I can't be close to my own nieces and nephews (miss you guys), it makes me happy that I can make a difference in your life and be there for you. We love you very much and I can't wait to show you the rest! K

Another Day...

missing Tré. I had to go down to the Pearl to get a pair of jeans the other day so I brought my camera with me to capture our day. Once again Tré was in school and so I just shot these two little rugrats together. I will have to take the boys out one of these Wednesdays when Jalena is in school and Tré gets out early. I like seeing the dynamics of the kids when they hang out together separately without being the '3'. Jalena takes care of Jamie while we are out together and they really like playing imaginary games. It was just a fun day where I got to play as well...camera time!

Time

I was looking through some old photos that Shannon took of Jake and I and I thought I would reflect on...where the hell does time go? How does life take you by the horns and make you put the most important things on hold, like showing your hubby affection? I love this guy so much and there are days that go by when we can just be in passing. I never forget to tell him that I love him, but sometimes it's easy to forget to show him. I truly believe that Jake and I are Spiritual Partners (term Gary Zukov coined) and I continue to admire him more and more each day. With him being busy starting a business as well, I have found that he has been more preoccupied and it's making me want to pick up the slack. I have made a date night for us this weekend (now he is going to read this and know the surprise) but I think what we really need is that next phase of life where we get to go on weekend dates! I guess I just wanted to post on how much a love this guy and remind us all that it takes a lot of effort on both ends to make sure our souls are fed. I don't have any relationship advice (actually I have a lot, but not tonight) I just thought it would be fun to profess my love for Jake on the blog and to tell him that I miss him. I am off to feed my soul with a little Jaker's time!

More Columbine

Well, I will be coming back and forth to this subject as I go through more of the pictures and do some soul searching. This is a shot of the memorial that they raised 1.5 million $ for. It is beautiful and it gives the school back to the kids and gives people a place to reflect and remember. I like the second one where there is a younger generation reading the quotes on the wall. They were as serious as could be coming into the memorial and they reflected like the rest of us.

And I love this picture of Heidi. Her husband sent me this e-mail the other night and I thought it was sweet and she thought I wouldn't blog it:)
Okay, here's classic Heidi. Portion of our conversation last night after she got done speaking to 100 or so volunteers at a TIP event.

Me, "So how'd your speech go?"
Heidi, "It went great."
"That's awesome honey."
"Yeah, I just decided that I wasn't going to act like the fraud I think I am."
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

If that doesn't sum up Mrs. Y I don't know what does. She's great - but apparently she's the only one who doesn't realize it. Sigh.
It's like every great person in this world...she'll never really know how many lives she has impacted with what she does because she is not doing it to be recognized. She is out there trying to raise awareness and tell the stories that matter. I was raised around guns my whole life and she has me looking at them in a whole new light. I know that there will never be a gun incident in my house with one of our guns because we took control of the situation and got rid of them. Thank you for opening our eyes Heidi, and for making a difference in this world!

My Journey

My latest thoughts on my photography journey. After I came back from Colorado I yearned to define which direction I was headed with my career. I love capturing families and all the shoots inbetween...but, I feel like I have been posing more of my clients rather than interacting with them. I feel like I am suppose to make a difference in people's lives with my photography. But, when I focus on the posing and trying to get that "perfect" portrait, I feel like I missed the boat on the shoot. I will use my latest shoot as an example of what I am feeling lately. I love that I was able to get everyone looking in the first two shots...that is what we set out to do and that is what I got in quite a few of the shots after a 2 hour shoot. But, what I am craving with my photography lately is the realness...the moments that matter. I want to see into their soul for a moment. I want to catch some smiles, some laughter, and maybe even some tears. I know that these are the moments that matter because that is what drew me to photos in the first place. I love to capture a scared look on my kid's face, a nervous look on the first day of school, or a pout because one of them is throwing a fit in front of the camera. We don't necessarily look back at the "perfect" pictures and have memories of bliss, but rather, we may remember mommy yelling at us, or the photographer being silly, or the stress of wearing the outfit that you hated. I get that those are the feelings that are involved in picture days sometimes, but I want to bring more to the shoot. I want to give the kids memories of their amazing families playing together or snuggling. That is where my journey is taking me this month and hopefully for years to come.

This is the realness that I am talking about. A moment that the little sister looks up to her big sister in admiration and for direction on what she is suppose to be doing. She might look back on this picture as the day she looked at her sister and thought she was the most beautiful person on the planet. I wish someone could have captured the days when I would stare at my older sisters as they put on their make-up each morning...because I would be able to look back and see what my face looked like when I thought I was looking at goddesses:)
Or this moment when all the kids are looking at Daddy like he is the funnest guy in the whole world. That they will remember when they all played together....and you know what they say about a family that plays together.....THEY STAY TOGETHER! So hear is to the REAL moments...that I may capture them through Heaven's Eye so you're able to hold onto them forever.