my hope is a living thing, and stronger than i knew. Thank you Jesh De Rox for putting something up that spoke to me on Facebook. When I read this quote this morning it moved me. I get words said to me on a weekly basis that I am an inspiration. When I read it and hear it, it makes me feel amazing, humble and a bit overwhelmed. But, when I try to process the extent of those words I can't understand how I am living differently. What is it that I am doing or saying that inspires? Is it because I have MS and I'm not falling to pieces? Is it because I am an open book and I speak my mind? I am sitting here trying to make the words make sense to me. What am I suppose to be doing with my life? Am I already doing it? I want to help the world just like the next person. It is dawning on me that in what I thought was a selfish moment, by helping myself, it turns out that I am helping others. Because I put my words, my heart, and my emotions out there, someone relates and sometimes it helps them to process their own thoughts. So what do I think is inspiring about my life...I think it is my HOPE. I think that MS has given me the perspective that I have needed. It has given me the confidence that I am living beyond.
Sure I still have my fears. I have to make the conscious choice each day to continue on my own path. Amongst all the other temping paths that come across my life, I choose to stay on my own. To stay on it without harsh judgment, with a positive outlook, and yes, HOPE. I'm not afraid. Why is it so hard for me to say those words without crying? Sometimes it comes out with confidence and sometimes it comes out with a little shaky voice. I am not afraid of what is ahead of me on my path. I'm not even afraid that it looks like I am walking into the "Children of the Corn" path;)I have HOPE because I have my laughter:)
I have HOPE because, in this moment...I have my health. I have these mad hops that help me to be the MVP (self-awarded) 2-3 days a week;) I have hope that I will give my kids tools in their life to deal with whatever may come their way. I know that by changing my diet and lifestyle the fear of them having MS is so minimal in my mind. They have been by my side every step of the way and they continue to teach me that you can always change. They feed my hope when I am not there for myself.As for photography....I know that it is one of the greatest gifts that God has given to me to be an inspiration. I am inspired daily by some many people and moments around me and the craving to capture it through a lens never is quite quenched. Suddenly in the last year Heaven's Eye Photography has taken on a whole new meaning to me. From day one I have always know what types of shoots feed my soul, but it has been such a learning process. In that process there have been a lot of paths that I have tried to jump on. I know what I crave now. I know where I am strongest and that is in telling a story. It is meeting people that I feel are living life beyond. There is something in them that inspires me. Heaven's Eye has shown me exactly what I am suppose to see through my lens....HOPE, happiness, reality, love, and all the little moments inbetween that we are too busy to appreciate....touch, admiring looks, emotions that can only come out when we are open enough to explore them. I want to be that safe place.
Thank you to Lindsay Viersen, Cindy Cieluch, Whitebox, and Shannon for the pictures. I never would have thought in my 20's that I would be able to look at pictures of myself imn y 30;s and feel so proud, in love and withoutt reservations. Thank you for being such amazing friends, inspiration and an endless pool of love! Oh, and Jalena took the one of my jumping. Thanks Lou...you light up my life!